Retiring Soon

This blog is done; I have lost interest in writing it and am not getting any interesting scoops. It's all opinion and lately satire which I write for my amusement, and unless i change my mind, It's not terribly amusing anymore





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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

 






posted by Mike at 22:33

Monday, March 07, 2005

 

Move along now!


posted by Mike at 20:56

Monday, February 10, 2003

 

Response to calpatriotwatch

Brendan Getzell,

I wrote a news article examining a controversial issue. Do you think I can satisfy it without discussing the concerns of either side? Your accusations of "spin" directed at me are completely asinine– I am not the one who filed the lawsuit or created the arguments; I merely informed people of the debate. Go ahead and believe it to be spin all you want, but it ain't my spin and it's dishonest to imply otherwise. And, for your information, these facts were derived from reading 100s of pages of court documents, not from any conservative pundit, and way before Bush's administration issued his amicus curae.

It is further dishonest to replicate a solitary paragraph wherein I show what inspired the plaintiffs while never giving even a mention that I gave equal time to both sides. Such sloppiness gives readers the impression that I am biased toward the plaintiffs when in actuality I presented arguments of both. I only hope your audience has better critical reading skills and more maturity than you do.

I implore you, if you have any integrity, to retract your negligent misrepresentations.

Sincerely,
Michael McFarlane

Read Getzell's attack here


posted by Mike at 02:20

Friday, January 10, 2003

 

Good Evening Readers,

I've decided to make this blog more self-entertaining by posting funny satyrical stories in addition to my not-so-humble opinions and that one piece of news that I broke that was really just a rumor.

You can recognize the fake stories by the scrolling marquee.


posted by Mike at 00:00

Thursday, January 09, 2003

 

Bush to Start Season in Minors

In Baseball News…

The Washington Oilers avoided salary arbitration today with Shortstop George Bush Jr., signing him to a minor league deal. He will be assigned back to AAA Texas, and may be invited to spring training.

“When you call all the shots like I do, hard decisions are inescapable,” said General Manager Karl Rove speaking to reporters. “He had some key steals in 2000 and helped make the US the offensive power it is today.”

Nonetheless, according to Rove, Bush Jr. is still a young player who could benefit from additional experience in the minors. The sport runs in his family, but as an official from the organization, who wished to remain anonymous, told Potato Chucking News, Bush Jr. “had yet to develop the mental skills for the job.” The young far righty only spent only 2 years in the minors before his call up.

Bush Jr. was unavailable for comment, but his agent stated, “You demote him once, shame on him; demote him again… snap crackle pop… you ain’t gonna demote him again.”

No other moves were announced, but it is expected that the US will try to trade in order to fill the remaining roster spot. The Oilers are apparently still interested in Austrian Designated Hitler Joerg Hader whom they have coveted since failing to land pitcher and catcher Pim Fortuyn from the Netherlands.

Trent Lott is still on the trading block.


posted by Mike at 23:56

Thursday, January 02, 2003

 

In case you decide to cut your hair


posted by Mike at 01:08

Monday, December 30, 2002

 

This'll make the brown supremacists cry, if its implications are true. According to The Independent a skeleton found in Mexico adds more evidence to the theory that the original "native" Americans were European. The skull, dated 2,000 years older than any other in the Americas, shows the caucasiod feature of being long and narrow, unlike mongoloid skulls.

Of course more study is needed; at this stage one can reach many conclusions. But, it is still fun to imagine if this had come out during the school year because there would be no telling what certain groups would do.

Every year there are groups advocating to "stop the invasion" of whites to the continent and the return of all property back to the indigeous peoples. Does indigeous peoples day revert back to Columbus Day? How can Native American rights groups argue certain cases with the lingering possibility that their "native Americans" may have also killed and supllanted the previous "native Americans" (who may have...)?

This discovery aside, we should realize that there are never indigeous people-- humans are explorers. Nowadays, any occupied land was once in other hands, so the very idea of land "ownership" is merely a term of convenience (much like the idea of a race). Does stepping on it first grant you exclusive rights? Or, is being able to defend it the key? Unfortunately, 3.8 billion years of life's existence favor the latter.

So, if your keeping score, America was discovered by a southern European but it was discovered before by a nothern European who arrived thousands of years after Asians migrated over following stoneage Europeans, all of whom evolved from Africa, who were placed on Earth by (R)aelians.


posted by Mike at 22:09

 

Killed--by-size